If I have to guess, I'd say my latest rock-bottom episode was ignited by a disruption to our routine. G came back home after ten days on the road. And we had to re-adjust. Then, Dylan caught the flu. I did. And nobody was sleeping.
An uneasiness at work began creeping in. And I kept catching myself wishing everyone from G and Dylan to the nannies and baristas could be a bit more like this and a tad less like that.
My discontent grew as I pushed against my surroundings, trying to control what wasn't under my control.
Instead of pausing, reflecting, retreating, I forged forward–treading through life like Hulk in Madurodam. And it's only at the bottom of the spiral, amidst the rubble I created, that I came to a standstill.
Over the years, I've learned to recognize this path. And with time, I hope to learn to steer myself in the opposite direction–up–instead of further down the pit. For now, I still find solace at the bottom, for things are quiet there, and I can start the climb.
My way out always starts the same. I journal until I uncover all the bits that sting. Then, I go back to the wisdom in books that once resonated. And I re-focus my efforts inward, which are the only efforts that I can hope to control anyway, at least when the green monster is dormant.
Hi, All! How have you been? 🌊 I look forward to spending a proper European summer with friends. My only plan for us is to settle on our terrace, wrapped in this stupifying coastal view, sharing all the good we have (As my friend Carly said, "I imagine my entire visit on that terrace"). And I'll hug their homey vibes and embrace the familiar humor and chatter.
Quote That's Resonating
When success begins to slip from your fingers—for whatever reason—the response isn't to grip and claw so hard that you shatter it to pieces. It's to understand that you must work yourself back to the aspirational phase. You must get back to first principles and best practices. – Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy