Clean all the things. Tidy all the things. Never run out of anything.
Homemade-fill-in-the-blank. Three-step-whatever. Folded blankets. Washed hair. Waxed legs. Peachy bums.
Cook. Cook well.
Care about all the things. Be all the things. Never forget anything.
Above all, be likable. Agreeable. Smile.
It’s a thread of perfectionism dominating daily life. It was under my nose all along. Yet, I only caught it in its entirety a few weeks into parenthood when a baby boy demanded my full attention, and all but the care for him came to a stop.
With almost no time left for anything else, keeping going would surely mean losing my mind. Besides, just because it was possible before, easy even, doesn’t make it natural. Let alone meaningful.
As I watched our boy fall asleep and wake up, over and over, chained to his presence, he left me no choice but to let go of the superficial, the superfluous. And I resolved, again and again, to hold on to his breath and fluttering lashes and surrender to his intoxicating mandate for the practice of the now.
Hi All! How are you doing? 🤧 I’m recovering from a cold and daydreaming about our upcoming escape to the south of Spain. Peanut is eight weeks today. He’s very curious and makes a ton of tiny sounds.
If I never thought I’d publish a post on skincare, then I sure didn’t imagine writing about parenthood. And yet, as they say, here we are:
For as long as I can remember, I could only think of reasons not to have children. Mostly, I worried I was emotionally immature for parenthood and that I might repeat some of my parents’ mistakes. I also feared my career would halt and most household responsibilities to fall on me. And that I’d lose the life I appreciated so much, filled with days of learning, reading, and travel.
Quote That’s On My Mind
If you take competing and conflicting expectations [of women] (which are often unattainable from the get-go) you have this:
- Be perfect, but don’t make a fuss about it and don’t take time away from anything, like your family or your partner or your work, to achieve your perfection. If you’re really good, perfection should be easy.
- Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, but say what’s on your mind.
- Dial the sexuality way up (after the kids are down, the dog is walked, and the house is clean), but dial it way down at the PTO meeting. And, geez, whatever you do, don’t confuse the two—you know how we talk about those PTO sexpots.
- Just be yourself, but not if it means being shy or unsure. There’s nothing sexier than self-confidence (especially if you’re young and smokin’ hot).
- Don’t make people feel uncomfortable, but be honest.
- Don’t get too emotional, but don’t be too detached either. Too emotional and you’re hysterical. Too detached and you’re a coldhearted bitch.
–Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
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☀️ Staying Sane